I’ve had a blow. It took my breath away. The past and future flashed before my eyes. Fortunately, I’d the foreboding to utter a prayer in anticipation, or I would have been completely undone. Still, it was a shock that I continue to grapple with.

After 307 days, my Wordle streak had come to a crashing end. On an unassuming Tuesday with a little extra time on my hands, I deviated from my normal approach to this daily word puzzle. It started out well, with two letters in place on the first try. I thought it would be an easy play, perhaps even a two-turner. Oh, how pride comes before destruction.

Triple Blind

Come geek out with me while I walk through my demise. As you can see above, the second try set me up nicely. After it, I saw only a few choices for the answer.

Mistake one: I took my eyes off the possibility of a double ‘e’. I was annoyed, but it wasn’t a disaster. There still weren’t many viable words left, and I had a lot of turns to go.

Mistake two: I didn’t consider the ‘n’ in that sense (pun totally intended!). After four turns and two blinds, I got nervous. My confidence was shaken (alas not enough!). But I could think of only two words with that construction.

Mistake three: I took my eyes off the double ‘s’. After dense, I prayed. It was far too close for comfort. A real calamity loomed. But I was in a hurry. And this time I thought I had absolutely taken everything into consideration. And so ended the run that had consumed my priority every day for nearly a year.

Reflection

In the aftermath, of course the self-recriminations came. Why didn’t I remember those double letters? Why was I so dense (intended)! The sense (!) of loss told me that I would never be happy again. What was there to look forward to now? Nothing. Count my blessings? Whatever. How about if I became a bestselling author? I’d rather have my streak back.

Okay, we had a problem. Something must be terribly wrong if a little game should be so important to me. I wonder if I would have had the perspicacity to recognize this folly if I hadn’t prayed in advance. An otherworldly detachment belied the gloom that wanted to take over and forced me to face what I had begun to suspect. This innocuous pastime had become an idol of my heart.

For months, I’d lived in fear. Each daily advancement ramped up the stakes. Which were? That I would lose that bit of value I found in having this meaningless streak. With the many discouragements of life, especially for aspiring authors, it was nice to have this one thing to boost my self-worth. I acted like a pauper grasping at scraps instead of a daughter of the King, who provides me all things. That’s the problem with idols. They take our eyes off true glory for a fizzling glitter that leaves us scared and wanting. Our wayward hearts can turn any good thing we see into such a vanity. Maybe it’s grace that takes away their tepid allure so that we might come back to right worship. Only when our sandcastles fall and we surrender all can we stand fulfilled on the Rock of Ages.

Once More unto the Blocks

Does that mean I can’t play Wordle anymore? On the contrary, I am freed now to enjoy it anew. It’s a fresh beginning, like the blank page of a novel I might start writing. And like that, it is what I make of it–to enjoy as a good gift of God or to warp and crush it under the weight of my ambition. There is a tension between striving for excellence and being consumed by a vision of success of my own making. I’m grateful to have a trivial game on which to exercise this important life lesson. But we’ll have to wait at least 308 days to see if sense wins out this time.